Devil within
by Mai-chan63
Summary: Ever since Shinichi came back, he experienced what exactly "fear" meant. Written for Poirot Cafe's Super Short Contest #4 'Fear'.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! It's been a while, but here's another story I wrote today actually - yes, I finally managed to write something in an hour or so! It's short, I know, but there will probably - if inspiration hits me again - be a continuation on this. If so then that one will also have some more detail about the background of the story etc.

I had this idea for quite some time, but my first attempt at writing this wasn't really working out :S Then I saw the newest Super Short Contest on Poirot Cafe - which was themed with "fear" (#4) - and I decided to write this story and tweak it a little to suit the theme. Well, this is my first time participating in a contest, so please read this story and if you like it, go to Poirot Cafe and vote for me~!

 **Genre** ; angst, suspense

 **Rated** ; K+

 **Words** ; 812

Enjoy the story now ^^

* * *

With a gasp, Shinichi dropped the plate he'd been drying off just a moment ago. The stone plate fell on the floor and shattered but the sound fell on deaf ears.

"No," Shinichi muttered, "not now."

Closing his eyes he grabbed his head with both hands, covering his ears trying in vain to drown out the sounds. As the memories started to flash inside his mind, he could already feel that cold pain envelop his heart.

It was the complete opposite of the pain he'd felt when transforming back and forth between him and Conan. This was a pain that enveloped him whole and chilled his blood.

Gasping for breath, he dropped to his knees, unfazed by the shards of the platter digging into his knees. Memories were the only thing that occupied his mind. Memories of the take down. Awful memories he never wanted to see ever again.

Once again he had to watch how Haibara was tortured in front of his eyes and that moment when Kazuha was shot. Even his talk with Hattori afterwards was a memory he'd rather forget. His best friend hadn't even wanted to look him in the eyes for getting his girlfriend involved.

 _Why did you go back to being Shinichi? Everything was so much better as Conan._

"No, it wasn't," Shinichi ground out. Pressing his hands tighter to his head. That cold pain he was feeling; he understood it now as he heard that voice inside his head again.

 _Nobody likes Kudo Shinichi anymore. Haibara is dead. The Shounen Tantei-dan don't know you._

He didn't want to hear that voice. Every word it said, shot bullets right through his heart. He shouldn't listen. Because everything that thing said, wasn't true either way! Right…?

 _Hattori doesn't want to talk to you anymore._

"He's just having a hard time because of Kazuha's death," Shinichi tried to counter. But his own voice was weak as he said it, showing he himself had little confidence in that statement.

 _Even SHE won't talk to you._

"Ran's just busy!" he shouted desperately. After all this time and with everything that happened during the take down, his best friend had had trouble coping with him being back. Time had, instead of enhancing like she always said, made her love fade away.

Not that that mattered. After all, Shinichi's heart had also started to waver. So, naturally since neither felt the same anymore, he'd let her go. It hadn't taken long for her to find someone new.

 _Has she really been busy ever since you came back three months ago?_ The voice chuckled. _Keep telling yourself that you're not alone. Pathetic_.

There was a malice in that voice that he wasn't used to. It didn't used to be like this. Back then the voice had always sounded chirpy, piping up only when necessary. But ever since his return, the voice turned hostile.

"Don't think you can get under my skin," he said and – albeit shakenly – stood up. His body felt weak, tired and, dare he say it, old. The air around him felt as if it were freezing, especially behind him where the voice came from. That malicious voice that wanted nothing more than for him to give up and break down.

 _Then why are you shaking so much?_

Panting Shinichi had to grab the counter to keep himself steady. "I won't let you control me!" he shouted again. But the memories that still plagued his mind, made him weak and unable to think properly.

The screams, the gunshots, the blood, all of them filled his head, tortured him from the inside. He couldn't let him win. Even when thinking normally was difficult, he couldn't let that get to him.

It got more difficult as he could feel the other moving towards him, feel his cold hatred come closer. Shinichi could feel him towering over him, even if that should be impossible.

 _If only you'd stayed the way you were. Then none of this would've happened. None of your friends would've gotten hurt._

"Shut up!" Shinichi shouted. "None of this would've happened if you had never come into existence!" Spinning around, Shinichi looked at the bespectacled boy, standing behind him. Azure eyes bore into his with a hatred that made his legs weak and give out from under him.

 _I'll make you suffer for this hell you put me in._ He spoke, so softly, so emotionless, that Shinichi felt a shiver run down his spine. _You can't make me disappear!_ The boy said, spitting the words out with as much disgust as was possible.

Shinichi knew the cold pain that enveloped him. After all, he'd experienced it before. But this time seemed so much worse. He'd never felt it stronger than he was feeling it right now, towards this boy, towards his old life.

Towards Conan he felt nothing anymore, but fear.

* * *

Hope you guys liked it! Also, one of these days I might upload another story I've been really into these past few weeks. Hope to see you guys soon and don't forget to leave a review! If you have any tips, feel free to help me, but remember to be nice ^.^


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, I've been on a role these days... Anyhow! Due to the contest I was excited to write out the second part I had planned for this and, in my opinion, it makes this story soooooooo much better! It explains a lot more about Conan's reason's and stuff like that. Btw, Conan doesn't love Ran the way that Shinichi used to love her. Conan's ghost/demon/haunting devil figure, whatever he is in this story is actually the Conan Shinichi portrays to everyone before the take down. So a very intelligent boy, who knows a lot of things and loves Ran like a sister. That is also why he wants Shinichi to return to Ran, not to get together with her, but the keep her save from all the perverts and bad guys out there.

I think the story is a bit fast paced though :d The first part was like that mostly because of the word limit with the contest, but this part, after re-reading it, still felt slightly too fast for my taste. I don't really want to change it though.

 **Genre** ; suspense, angst, romance (slightly, yes mind this, this is shounen-ai!), hurt/comfort

 **Rated** ; K+

 **Words** ; 1,594

Now enough of my blabbering ^^

Enjoy the story!

* * *

With Conan haunting him, he couldn't control anything. His daily life turned into one burning hell of nightmares, bad memories, and pain. So much pain that was way worse than anything he'd ever experienced before – and that includes his transitions from and to Conan.

With the memories and nightmares, sleep was deprived from him and with that his concentration became bad. Classes, conversations and cases passed by without him remembering anything that was said. Conan's hateful figure seemed to pop up everywhere. In mirrors, in windows, behind his friends, in the bathtub, in the car. Literally everywhere.

And Shinichi was getting so tired of it.

Conan was destroying him from the inside out, breaking his soul and shaping it until it suited his needs. Shinichi could do nothing to stop him. The little boy had done his job well. Without enough sleep and being unable to concentrate, the older boy was unable to fight him mentally.

There was only one moment when the high school detective could finally relax, one moment when Conan couldn't get to him. Because no matter how hard the little boy tried he couldn't catch Shinichi's attention away at those times.

When the large explosion went off in the middle of the room, Shinichi, for a moment, was brought back to the take down. But as soon as the smoke dissipated and the white cladded figure appeared on top of the display case, he remembered where he was exactly.

Being the showman that he was, KID bowed on top of the display case. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he said, voice carrying across the room with the help of hidden speakers. "Welcome to tonight's show! I hope you enjoy it!"

Straightening he snapped his fingers and upon the sound several more explosions went off, this time at arbitrary places on the ceiling. The clouds that spread after these explosions were all a myriad of colours that mixed together to form new colours as soon as they touched.

Shinichi didn't know how exactly KID had done it, but somehow he'd managed to make the clouds slightly transparent, creating an effect in which the whole room was slightly obscured in a wide variety of colours that swirled and danced around.

Upon closer notice Shinichi even saw that there were several white sparkles inside the smoke, making it appear as if the whole room had been moved to outer space. Awed by this phenomena nobody moved, not even the high school detective himself.

That is until he heard the swirl of a cape beside him and soon after a door closing softly somewhere behind him. Spinning around he moved towards the door and followed the thief. The door had opened up to a maze of corridors and doors.

Having no idea where the thief had gone, Shinichi started running, keeping an eye on the side corridors once he'd passed them. At some point he nearly missed the small fishing wire in front of his feet.

It took all of his might to dodge it, jumping over it and doing a cartwheel to get back on his feet. Allowing himself a single breath, he took one look back at the trap KID had placed before continuing after the thief.

Yes, heists were the only place he could truly have fun. Even before his return when he was usually plagued by murders instead of his twisted alter ego heists were the only place he could relax and enjoy the time he spend there. For some reason they were enough to take his mind off of things and enabled him to shut Conan out even when he was dead tired.

He ran down the corridors for another minute before he finally saw a sign of KID. A single corner of his white cape disappearing around the corner had Shinichi turn on his heels and head for that direction.

After that more traps followed which he dodged with less effort than the first one and he quickly caught up to the thief. Shamefully not before said thief had reached the rooftop. Throwing himself against the door, Shinichi slammed it open and ran onto the roof.

Turning around, he looked for where KID had disappeared to, but could find no sign of him. Hearing a click behind him made him turn around to see the white-clad thief locking the door. "Well hello there, Meitantei-kun," KID said in that frustratingly teasing tone.

"Hello KID," Shinichi said, straightening as his breathing finally evened out.

"I must say, I like you better in your full-grown body. You present much more of a challenge that way," the thief said, grin widening.

Bowing slightly – he didn't want to let the thief out of his sight – Shinichi responded, imitating KID's showman attitude, "I aim to please."

He stood his ground as KID approached him, looking very much like a predator with the wide grin he was sporting. "You know, a little birdy told me you and Ran-chan still aren't together. Even though you finally returned to your full-grown self again," the thief began, entering the detective's personal space. "Does that mean you're still single and free to take?"

Raising an eyebrow, Shinichi was starting to feel slightly nervous, both due to KID's presence as with his suggestive question. The thief had never been one to be so obvious – usually his intentions and motives were a lot more vague.

But Shinichi, having trained himself to read other people, could easily see the hope and interest behind the amusement in the thief's eyes. Well, it wasn't that surprising. KID had always been rather flirty, especially with azure-eyed detective.

And it's not as if Shinichi wasn't interested. He'd been interested ever since the beginning of his collaboration with the thief to take down the Black Organization after realizing they had a common enemy.

"As free as the little birdy that told you," Shinichi said, a smirk spreading on his own face. KID leaned even further in, intent clear on his face as his eyes flickered down to the detective's lips.

 _No!_ A shout had Shinichi jumping away. Behind KID stood Conan, looking furious. The whole air around him was dark and seemed to shiver, as if heat were coming off of the boy. _How could you do this?! You traitor! What about Ran? How can you just let her be like that?! You disgusting cheater!_

Images of his conversation with Ran after the take down shot through his mind. Kazuha's death hadn't only hit Hattori. She was after all, also a very good friend of Ran's. The anger, the pain, the hurt that had been thrown at his head during that conversation. His own desperation to make it up to her, to get back the life he once had had. All of those feelings crashed down on him. They hit him so hard that his legs gave out underneath him.

 _You should be going after Ran, take her back from that filthy man who's got her now and keep her save from all those bastards! How could you abandon her like this?! You disgust me!_ Conan continued to shout, sending image after image to his mind.

Vaguely he heard KID shout his name. Vaguely he could feel KID's worried hands on his shoulders. Vaguely he could see KID's face in front of him.

But his mind was filled with nothing but images of his greatest fears, of all the bad memories from a couple months back, when he didn't get his life back. Instead he destroyed what was left of his life. There was no life left for him. He'd been better off as Conan, Ran's little brother, who had friends and family surrounding him.

As Shinichi… he had nothing.

He didn't realize there were tears streaming down his face until unclothed, delicate and soft hands took his face and wiped them away. He looked up into worried, but warm, indigo eyes, that drowned out Conan's voice for a second.

"Shinichi, what's bothering you?" KID said, voice comforting and warm to hear.

What's bothering him? What's bothering him?! Looking passed the magician to where Conan was practically seething, Shinichi felt the fear, that had left him for just a little while, envelop him again. Breaking him, shaping him, until that little boy's heart's content.

KID followed his gaze and whether or not he could really see Conan, Shinichi never found out. But he uttered a few simple words, "Don't be scared." Looking at the thief with wide eyes, the high school detective watched him close his eyes and smile.

"People won't forget you," he continued, turning back to Shinichi and pulling the detective into his arms. "I know both of you and I won't forget either of them. You understand, Baka-Tantei?"

Shinichi was frozen as he listened to KID talk. It took him a long moment before he looked over the other's shoulder and saw that the little boy wasn't malicious or seething anymore. Quite the opposite, the boy was trying his hardest to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

Smiling slightly Shinichi held out his hand towards the boy. For a second the boy hesitated, but eventually he ran towards the extended hand, taking it and crying as he clung to the elder detective's arm.

"You were just afraid of disappearing, weren't you?" Shinichi muttered, not caring if KID heard him or not.

He didn't need an answer. The boy's tears were enough and Shinichi promised to himself that he would never let the other boy be forgotten. After all, he would never forget Conan.

* * *

Hope you liked this as well and if you did please leave a review and tell me what you thought!


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